I hate all girls vehemently.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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