Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
