haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize