'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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