this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
