Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize