absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
