in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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