Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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