I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
