youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
