If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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