u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
