Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
