We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize