How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
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