I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
