A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize