Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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