dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
