I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
well you can't waste a boner
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
