So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
