I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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