no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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