you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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