the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
