the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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