Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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