Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
