Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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