i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
