Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
