he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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