How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
