i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
