just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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