well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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