Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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