Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
