Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
