talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
