Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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