just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
