He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
