called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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