You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
