:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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