We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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