I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
