I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
