Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
