So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
