i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
