Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama

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(850): View more from Florida

We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.

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(713): View more from Texas

Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together

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(732): View more from New Jersey

thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.

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(481): View more from

I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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(651): View more from Minnesota

asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.

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(770): View more from Georgia

You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.

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(206): View more from Washington

No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties

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(703): View more from Virginia

hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?

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