Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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