....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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