Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
