im having a threesome with these popsicles
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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