We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Someone signed my nipple.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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