I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
