You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
