One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
