I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
