i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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